Red Pen of Doom Edition
I don’t know if it’s the state of education in the country today or whether or not the misuse of phrases and words is so prevalent in media today that people just start to internalize blatantly incorrect uses of the English language, but I’m going to start carrying around my Red Pen of Doom and writing on people’s foreheads when I hear some of the following phrases:
Supposibly: ~*twitch*~ The word is supposedly. “Suh-pose-id-lee.” There is no “b” in that word. See? No “b.” Let’s leave the “b’s” out of it, okay? They’re having enough trouble with all the “bees” disappearing as it is, and I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s because people steal them to shove into this word on a regular basis. Say it with me… “Supposedly…” (This problem was exacerbated by the episode of Friends where Chandler confronts Joey about his pet peeve with people saying “supposibly” and Joey says it for the rest of the episode. “Did she go to the zoo? Supposibly.”)
“For all intensive purposes:” Oh, for the love of all that is holy! I understand that most people never actually write this phrase out, but even in speaking it I would hope you would stop and have the following conversation with your self:
“Self, do those words, strung together like that to form a phrase, make any sense?”
And I would hope that you would respond with, “Why, no! No, they don’t make sense together! You know why?”
“No. Why?”
“Because the proper phrase is for all intents and purposes! That’s why!”
“Oh… so I should stop saying it like that, huh?”
“…….”
“Right. For all intents and purposes. Gotcha.”
“Conversate:” I am well aware that this word is used often in both rap and hip hop songs. This is no excuse! You converse with a person, you don’t conversate! It’s slang-as is “ain’t,” which may be in the dictionary, but you really do need to read the entire definition when you try to prove this. Slang is slang, is slang! You sound silly. Stop it.
“I could care less:” No, no, no, no, no! Once again, you should stop and realize what it is that you’re trying to say, and the words that are actually leaving your lips for others to hear and judge! If you’re trying to say you don’t care at all, or that whatever it is you’re talking about is meaningless to you, then you couldn’t care less. It has to be negative. “I could care less” implies that you do care, and enough to be able to care less. Confused yet? Good.
And my all time major pet peeve: Then vs. Than! I see this constantly, and it drives me batty! Here’s a quick and painless grammar lesson. Then is an adverb denoting time. It tells “when.” (as in “I’m eating dinner, then going to the store.”) Than, on the other hand, is a conjunction that is used in comparisons. Remember grade school math? Greater than and less than? (As in, “I like blue better than green.)
There are quite a few of these little doozies, but I figured I’d just give you a top five. I can promise you one thing, though. If I hear you say “supposibly” and I’m near you, be prepared for red ink to cover your forehead. You should also know that I will then forever classify you in the same category as Brittney Spears. I’m just sayin’…
Write well,
~Dawn
