Horse Hockey!
Growing up, I was forced to watch episode after episode of M*A*S*H in the evenings, and I can’t remember hating anything more (Well, I hated Willie Nelson too, but as with most things I grew up loathing, I’ve grown particularly fond of Willie too). I don’t know when the switch occurred, but somewhere I became enamoured with M*A*S*H and the hi-jinks of the cast of characters of the 4077. Maybe it was the writing, the predictable format of the show, the comedic timing, or the topical nature of many of the episodes. All I know is that at some point, I grew to adore M*A*S*H, and I have a sneaking suspicion that my opinion changed once Henry Morgan, A.K.A. Colonel Sherman Potter joined the cast.
I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing either of my grandfathers while growing up–both had died before I could bat my eyelashes at them and drag them to story time. My uncle’s parents lived 
across the street from me once we moved back to Pittsburgh, and somewhere along the way my brothers and I took to calling my uncle’s father “PapPap.” He makes the most mouth watering meatballs (the size of tennis balls if we pleaded long enough), and sauce that tomatoes fight each other to be a part of. Pap is old school in more ways than one, and even when he joined forces with my father to scare the life out of my dates, I knew it was because he cared. He’s always had kind words and a kind laugh or joke for us, and I’ll always be grateful for having that as a part of my life.
And while I have one surrogate Grandfather, I think it only right to fill the missing position on the other side of my family line. I’ve been watching the entire run of M*A*S*H, and once Col. Potter uttered his first “HORSE HOCKEY!” I knew just the man for the job. If we had the ability to choose, Col. Potter would be at the top of my list. In fact, he might well be the only name on my 
list. Yeah, yeah, he’s a fictional character, but so what? If I can’t have the real thing, I might as well aim high, right? He had a sense of humor, order, and understood when to let things work themselves before he stepped in. He fought for the little guy and loved the family around him, all while overseeing the organized chaos of life in a battle zone (and sometimes that is exactly what life feels like, doesn’t it?). He could take a joke with as much panache as he could play one, and while he wasn’t always a stickler for discipline and the rules, he respected them and what they stood for. At the same time, he did respect breaking the rules for the right reasons. When it comes right down to it, you trusted that when Col. Potter was around everything would turn out well no matter what the difficulty. Having him yell at you showed as much care as when he listened to your troubles and offered down home advice. He was intelligent, experienced, and there was nothing that could get by him.
So I’m officially adopting Col. Sherman Potter as my surrogate, fictional grandfather. And now, under the wise advice of Grandpa Potter, I’m going to “get a belt.”
