DawnPapuga.com — Reality 101

It’s Friday, and that means another installment of the Friday Five!  Since we kicked this off last week we’ve added a few more folks wanting to join the fun.  There’s plenty of room in the pool, kids, dive right in!  Well, look before diving and remember that there’s no lifeguard on duty here.  Off we go!*

Friday Five for July 18th:  Bad Food

1.  What was the last meal that caused you to be ill?

I bought deli made Broccoli Au Gratin from a supermarket a few weeks back, and I’m relatively certain it caused my last bout of food poisoning.

2.  Are there any places you never dine anymore because of a bad experience hours after the meal?

Not that I can think of.  I’ve had bad experiences with wait staff, with other customers, and with parking lot availability, but I haven’t had many occasions where I’ve contracted food poisoning from a restaurant. 

3.  What’s your prescription for dealing with a food-caused illness?

A conveniently placed bucket, clear path to the bathroom, mint ginger ale, and either Pedialyte or Gatorade.  If you can keep Pepto down then good for you.  I also tend to turn off my phone and curl up in a ball. 

4.  When friends tell you about coming down with food-caused illnesses, do you avoid the places they name, or do you figure it’s a dice-roll wherever you go?

It depends on the friend, really.  If someone with a touchy stomach tells me about getting sick I might not take any pains to avoid the place.  If they contracted botchulism, that’s a different story.  But if it was just a mild case of food poisoning, and it was only one friend, I would probably still give the place a chance.  If it was a number of friends passing on this info over an extended period of time, I would probably avoid that restaurant.

5.  After numerous citations, a very, very popular restaurant that you’re quite fond of is shut down by the health department until it can get everything up to code. When the health department gives the restaurant the o.k. to reopen, do you go?

Ha… well… yes.  First thing that comes to mind with this question is the Chi-Chi’s incident.  I miss their Seafood Nachos like you wouldn’t believe!  And if they reopened anywhere within 3 hours of me, I’d likely make the hike for a Margarita, Seafood Nachos, and Fried Ice-Cream.

Who Else is Friday 5-ing?  (You know you want to join us…)

*As always, the Friday 5 questions were taken from Friday5.org.  If you join the fun, be sure to let me know so I can add you to the link list!  And don’t forget to send those questions in that you’re itching for us to answer!  Don’t worry, we’ll gladly pimp your blog for the effort. 

Everyone who has been through college has some kind of memory associated with food.  There are certain foods that, even today, I find myself balking at because I ate them to excess while in undergrad.  Sometimes it was out of convenience, other times it was out of necessity.  What foods do you associate with your college years?

1.  Ramen Noodles.  I’m pretty much over these little sodium-filled packs of “soup.”  Every once in a blue moon I find myself craving them… until I make them and remember exactly why I don’t eat them anymore.

2.  Mac and Cheese.  I could eat Mac and Cheese every day with no problem.  When I got bored, I’d add some flair:  Tuna and ketchup (Yes, I am aware that most people think that’s gross), chicken and broccoli, and even beef tips.  I can still eat Mac and Cheese on the rare occasion that it’s served somewhere (OMG the Sixth Penn Kitchen has the most addictive “home made” Mac and Cheese I’ve ever tasted!!), but I’m not likely to make it.

3.  Soup.  I still eat a lot of soup, but I practically survived college eating soup and drinking coffee.  Though it has been my favorite for as long as I can remember, I haven’t had Broccoli and cheese soup since I flipped my tassel.

4.  Pizza.  Some people never lose their love for the pizza.  I can now take it or leave it.  Unless we’re talking about Campiti’s… in that case I’ll have two larges to go in the brown paper bag, thank you.

I realize that not everyone is capable of dedoublement*, and I don’t know if it can be taught.  What I do know is that there would be an significant decrease in drama, wasted time, pain, and anger if it could.  I would wager that only roughly 45% of the people I know are capable of detaching themselves from situations to look at things from a cold, factual, objective point of view.  Those people tend to achieve whatever goals they set for themselves.  Sometimes they’re also considered cut-throat or heartless, but it’s not necessarily a requirement. 

I have watched family, friends, and even public figures nearly, if not completely, destroy themselves (careers, relationships, friendships, you name it) because they refuse to even attempt to remove their own emotions from the equation and look at facts.  I don’t just mean personal feelings, as in how you feel, but how society plays into your understanding of circumstances as well.  If people were more honest about facts, behaviors, and their contributions, people’s lives would be a hell of a lot more different.

It seems like every year I get word that someone I know ODs, and, unfortunately, they’re usually very young.  Last night I was informed of yet another friend of my cousin’s who ODed about two weeks ago–one year and a day from his own friend who ODed.  Yes, addiction can be hidden.  I don’t deny this.  But how long can the people closest to an addict turn their heads from obvious problems and signals?  I don’t buy that people just “don’t know.”  That might work in your own head to help justify the circumstances, but everyone–including you–knows that’s absurd.  I fought for years with a friend who refused to admit her boyfriend was an addict.  It was always the fault of his friends, or his family, or stress.  Eventually, after he ODed, she admitted that it wasn’t anyone else shoving needles in his arm.  She blamed herself.  Honestly, it broke my heart.  When there are problems with the people closest to you, somewhere–even if it’s that little voice in the back of your head nagging and casting doubt–deep down you know.  It’s that same little voice or feeling you get when you know that something is wrong in a friendship.  You know. 

I’ve never understood why people shy away from doing the hard things, the things that may be painful at first, or embarrassing, or difficult, in order to help someone they care about.  Isn’t the ultimate goal to live happy, healthy lives and help those you love to do the same?  I’ve known people who looked the other way for decades of abuse and addiction because they didn’t want people to “talk” or to feel like “a failure” in the eyes of the people who mattered most to them.  Newsflash!  You and the ones you love are the only things that should matter.  When you’re faced with the disastrous consequences of sticking your head in the proverbial sand, you won’t get any pity from me.  Maybe that’s cold.  Maybe that’s heartless.  But when given days, months, years, even decades to right a wrong or intervene when someone can’t for themselves, and you choose, instead, to go about your merry way pretending everything is just fine, I just can’t help you.  In fact, if you bring that to me the first thing I’ll do is lay the cards–all the cards–on the table.  It’s not an attempt to make you feel worse, but an effort to help you see what actually happened.  That’s not to say I won’t be there to help.

I’m aware that not everyone feels the same.  I’m also aware that there are plenty of folks who don’t believe that their friends or relatives are their responsibility.  To each his own.  Personally, I find that to be colder than brutal honesty.  I just know that I’m tired of attending funerals for people I’ve coached, taught how to swim, or taught in a classroom because no one wanted to upset or embarrass them (or themselves or their family).  Problems are problems and everyone has them.  No one is perfect.  Once we all can admit that to ourselves, maybe our roads will be just a little bit smoother and filled with the people we care most about.  I have enough stops at roadside cemeteries to make through this life, I’d like to avoid adding any more.

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*Dedoublement, in this sense, is not the direct translation of “split personality,” but the psychological/literary concept discussed by French author Andre Gide.  In essence, “dedoublement” is the ability to split oneself in two–one aspect that interacts and feels the world they live in, and the other to stand back and observe.  The second “self” is responsible for the detached analysis of the facts of the world around the individual.  Without this second self, it becomes inherently more difficult to act for the greater outcome or good.